wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
