Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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