i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
