I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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