Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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