I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize