ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
