how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
