"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
