I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
