i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
