Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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