After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
