Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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