Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
