All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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