ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
