good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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