Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
