now i know why i became what i already was.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize