She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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