That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
