at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize