Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
