Where is the hickey?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
