How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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