what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
