Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
