she woke up with a sticky ear
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
