I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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