There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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