I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
