Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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