I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
