drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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