I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
