Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She's the barista slut.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
