for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
