walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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