hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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