M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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