What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
