Are we in a gay sports bar?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's blow job season.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
