Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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