Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
