Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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