We're facebook friends in real life
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
