My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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