I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
