How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
