we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
