just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
