We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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