We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in itâ€
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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