They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
