Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
