I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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