dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
