He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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