I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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