god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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