Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
