PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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