She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
