How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize