what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
